It's been a long, long time coming...

But I know a change gonna come. Oh yes it is.

 Two more days until we find out if we're pregnant.

 The transfer went great and I've been taking it easy ever since. I feel really good. Tired but good.

 I have a really good feeling in my gut. Obviously a bit of fear is there. I would be lying if I said there wasn't, but I just feel really good about this. I have faith in my heart and in my soul. I can't really explain the feeling. I just feel good.

 I can't believe the day we've been waiting for for sooooo long is almost here.

 On we go....

transfer | journal #6

 I can't believe it's almost here. Our transfer will take place on Monday, September 16, 2013.

 We're so excited.

 It's weird. We've had so many mixed emotions about this whole process and it's been such an extremely long process with so many curve balls but when I received a call from the nurse yesterday to let me know that the transfer would take place on Monday all of those mixed emotions disappeared. It was as if the reality of this journey had finally sunk in. It's happening!

 I start more medications tomorrow morning. Progesterone, Medrol and an antibiotic. No needles again though, thank goodness.

 So that's that! All I've done and gone through was for this very important and special day coming up on Monday.

 Lot's more praying though. Lots of hope, faith and prayers.

the next chapter | journal #5

 Yes, we're on to the next chapter. 

  

 Man... this has been one longggg journey. One that Eric and I feel so fortunate to have been able to afford to travel, but we're so ready for the end of the process to be here already. 

 Once my menses begins in the next day or two, I begin the process of "transfer". After speaking with my doctor about my concern with taking Estrogen again which was what brought out the polyp I had in my uterus which I had to have surgery to remove, we decided to take the natural route this time and go according to my bodies natural hormones. There isn't a higher success rate going either way but this route is an option that we feel more comfortable going with. It will consist of a lot more monitoring but I'm ready to do whatever it is I have to do. We're so close. 

 I'm sure I've written this in most of my posts but I'll write it again. We are so ready and want this more then anything. Lately, we've been talking a lot about the baby. Picturing our lives as a mom and dad. We're praying hard and have some really great friends and family praying for us every day too. We're so thankful for all the support we've had along the way, I can't express enough how much it means to us.

 On to transfer we go....

"the short story" | journal #4

 Wow, It's been a whileeeee.

 I know, I know. I said I would blog a lot more often, explaining the process as we went through it but boyyyy did I not know what I was getting into. Some people experience a simple IVF cycle where they take their injections and meds, have their retrieval and 5 days later they have their transfer but our IVF cycle was far from that.

 It really is a long story so I'm going to try to simplify it because I feel this is really important information that that others going through IVF should be aware of. 

 After Eric and I got back our genetic results I began my injections. The first shot was the scariest. The fear of injecting yourself in the stomach is far from fun but after the first injection things lighten up and the fear pretty much goes away. Every other day I was in the doctors office for blood work and ultrasounds as they monitor how you are reacting to your injection dosages. During one of those visits though I was in for a huge surprise. The estrogen in one of meds caused a polyp to show it's face in my uterus. It was possible the polyp was there already but too small to see but estrogen makes polyps grow in size which in our case put EVERYTHING on hold. The doctor explained that the polyp would have to be removed before we proceeded with the transfer. Miscarriages are very common when an embryo is transferred into the uterus when there is anything in your uterus that may be detrimental to the fetus. So I continued my injections so that we could complete our retrieval and scheduled my surgery at the same time. This wasn't what we wanted but we knew it was what we had to do. 

 Retrieval day was here before we knew it. We were both nervous but excited. They retrieved 10 eggs. ICSI had to be performed and the next day we find out only 5 were mature enough to be used. The next 5 days were the hardest to get through. Waiting for a call to see how many embryos if any had made it was probably the hardest part of the process thus far. Our lives and future replayed over and over in our heads. What if? What about? How? The questions and thoughts didn't stop. Day 5 came and I called the doctor as soon as I woke up. Of course they would have to get back to me and of course the call we were waiting for came in an email format instead around 5pm in the evening. The email read " Hi! They were able to freeze one lovely A grade blast 4aa (beautiful embryo). The embryos stopped dividing between day 3 and 5 and therefore were discarded. I am happy with the embryo that we froze though, it was a really nice one". Yup. And then there was one. Tears, hugs, kisses and pure happiness filled the room. Of course we wanted more then one embryo but we were so thankful and grateful for what the Lord gave us.

 Our little embryo was now frozen and on we went to surgery. Surgery was going to consist of removing the polyp from my uterus, a laparoscopy to have a look inside so that we could confirm my endometriosis and so that we could see how my tubes actually looked, they would be removing any possible scaring that I had and they would fill my tubes with a dye to see if they were possibly open any where. Surgery was this past Monday and when I woke up from the anesthesia I heard my doctor tell me something I never thought I would hear. "Taina we were able to open your tubes again". Completely medicated still and not able to comprehend anything else she said to me all I kept hearing in my head was "we were able to open your tubes again". How in the ....? 

 Endometriosis was confirmed and we now had pictures to prove it. My tubes were blasted several times until they were cleared and open and the polyp in my uterus was removed and sent off for testing. I'd say it was definitely a pretty successful surgery and I feel beyond blessed to have another chance at having a baby naturally. Of course, even though your tubes are clear and open there is always a chance that they still won't work but there is no medical exam to figure that out. The only way to know is by getting pregnant naturally or by IUI.

 So that's the long story summed up into a short one . I'm home healing with stitches in my belly button and on my lower stomach but I feel so positive for our future and grateful for everyone that has helped us get this far. It took 28 years to find out so much about my body. Doctor after doctor and I got absolutely no where until this past year. A good doctor is so important and my advice to anyone would be the minute they won't give you answers you're looking for move on to the next. Don't wait, don't delay.

 We continue our journey in a couple of weeks when we have our little "beautiful embryo" transferred into my uterus.

 The prayers continue....

yes!!! | journal #3

I'm crying but they're tears of pure joy.

We got the results of the SMA test for Eric and he tested NEGATIVE!

The call came and my heart dropped to the floor. When she told me the news I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop thanking her, I couldn't stop crying. Pure joy in my heart. I'm so grateful. My prayers were answered. 

So it's now official. IVF here we come. My medications will be here on Friday and this weekend my cycle is expected to begin. 

I promise to post a little everyday as the journey continues.

finally a show on infertility...

 Finally a show on Infertility.

 I hadn't even planned on watching this, I actually had no idea the topic was even being discussed but I took a much needed mental health day off yesterday and while I was sitting at the nail salon Katie Couric came on and the topic was infertility.

  I was so happy to finally see a show on TV about this. It's something that so many families struggle with yet it's something that is never discussed.

 The show moved me in so many ways. Peoples stories inspired me and gave me hope.

 It's a must see which is why I'm sharing this. It's great to know more on the issue and to have a true understand of what it is you're going through or someone you love.

 To read or watch the show click here.

I met her...

I met her in my dreams last night.

It's happened about 3 or 4 times in my life since I married Eric.

I'll dream with my son. I hold him, gaze at him for what seems like hours, watch him sleeping on my chest. It's a feeling I can't even describe and these are days where I just don't want to wake up.

Last night for the first time I dreamt with a little girl. These dreams were always with a little boy but last night it was with a little girl and it was the most intimate the dreams have ever been.

The dream went through all stages. I was pregnant, Eric and I were working on the babies nursery, we spoke about what we needed for her and then I gave birth to her. While I was pregnant with her I remember asking Eric, "Am I really pregnant? My belly is so small" and his response was "yes you're pregnant baby, you're just carrying small".

When she was born Eric gazed at me holding her in my arms and our family was there too. In the dreams I've had in the past I really didn't see Eric or any family. It would just be me and a beautiful little boy in my arms.

Last night's dream felt more real then any other dream I've had like this. Eric and family being there to witness what we had created just made it seem "official" as if THIS IS REAL and we finally had our little miracle. The feeling was......

When I wake from these dreams I'm usually extremely sad. The feeling of being given something you want more then anything in the world only to have it taken away hours after it's given to you. Today though I don't feel sad. I feel as if that dream came to me because Eric and I are that much closer to becoming parents. I feel like I was being told "have no fear, you will be a mother and he will be a father soon."

It's June 5th today. July will be here before we know it.

I'm ready.

P.S: We're still in the process of Eric doing the genetic testing. Apparently a lot of places don't do this testing and of course we have to deal with the whole insurance mess as we're trying to get them to cover most of this testing since it's about $700 if you don't go through insurance. It really makes no sense to me why insurance wouldn't cover things like this. Would they prefer to cover a couple having a sickly child that would constantly need medical treatment?! Makes no sense at all does it?!

So on we go....

Live Free

 Another blessed weekend of happy thoughts and peaceful living.

 I'm so grateful for carefree days where Eric and I can just breathe without worry or struggle.

Days where we appreciate each other and the love and bond we share. It's what gives us strength everyday.

So today I thank the Lord for what I have and continue on with faith and hope in my heart that the Lord will soon give us the gift of sharing that love with a baby of our own.

Fresh Air

 Eric and I recently went out East in Long Island which we try to do as often as possible. It's so peaceful out there. The air smells so fresh, we love the greenery and just truly love way the way some folks live out there. Farmers, people selling the fruits and vegetables they grow in the market, etc. It's the way I believe we should live.

 Any who!

 While we were driving around Eric and I came across a glass greenhouse in Jamesport and boyyyyy was I in heaven. I might of even eeeeeeeeeek'ed and skipped around a bit!

 Rows and rows of plants and flowers. This place truly amazed us.

 Here are some photos to show you just exactly what I mean...

 

 

 I just love him...

 

 

 I was in flower heaven. Can't you tell?!

 

 I just couldn't leave the orchid aisle. I wanted to take all of them home with me!!!

 

 After the greenhouse we went over to the Lenz Winery.

 I love this winery and their Cabernet Sauvignon is delicious!! It was such a great time. We just sat down with a bottle of wine and did word search puzzles together, challenging each other with who ever could find the word first got a point! LOL. We are such a silly couple, but I loved every minute of it. It always makes us laugh and laughter is a good thing! 

 It felt so good to not think about those daily stresses we have these days. To just be able to enjoy each other and savor the moment. 

 Moments like these are so important, especially when you're both going through something like we are. It's important to have moments together where you can just love each other and each others company.

anything else? | journal #2

 They say you're only given as much as you can handle.

 Who determines that one is the question of the day.

 Today I received a call from the doctor letting me know that they received my genetic screening results. As soon as I heard her voice I knew something wasn't right. Of course the next thing she said reaffirmed what I already knew.... something wasn't right! She began the conversation with "I just want to start off by telling you that just because you have an abnormality doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you, it just means you're a carrier". My body stiffened.

 I am a carrier of Spinal Muscular Atrophy, a disease that is caused by abnormally functioning motor neurons that control voluntary movement such as walking, talking and swallowing. Of course when you hear something like this from the doctor for the first time you think, OH MY GOSH something is wrong with me! But of course that isn't a factor here. I'm just a carrier, so the next step is Eric going in for the same genetic screening because you both technically need to be carriers of SMA for it to be passed down to the baby and that still isn't a 100% guaranteed. If both parents are carriers of Spinal Muscular Atrophy there is a 25% chance in each pregnancy of having a child with SMA, a 50% chance of having a child who is an unaffected carrier of the condition, and a 25% chance of having a child who is not a carrier and is unaffected.

 A lot to randomly take in anddd I of course can't help but let those "bad" feelings creep in. Those... I wish I knew this before, another issue, something else to think about, something else to worry about.

 Who ever thought or knew so much went into having a baby?

 I've never heard anyone I know go through all of this or any of it for that matter. All I ever hear is "I'm pregnant, I'm having a girl/boy/twins, I'm having a Baby Shower" and then 10 months later I receive a birth announcement!

 It's crazy how so much can happen to one couple. One couple that would make amazing parents.

 I guess that's just how life goes sometimes.

 On to the next step... more testing.

 

ivf process | journal #1

So our IVF process has officially begun.

I had my first round of blood work to test my hormone levels and my FSH on Friday, May 10th which was Day 2 of my cycle.

At first I thought, no big deal... I'm just going in for some blood work BUT my feelings changed as soon as I got to the doctors office. I walked into a room that had about 50 woman seated waiting to be called. This was not a lab for getting routine blood work done, this was the actual fertility doctor's office. When Eric and I had originally gone to this office on April 5th there were only two other couples in the lobby, so this is why I stress what I walked into this time. It blew me away and drowned me in sorrow. I had an overwhelming feeling of, "Oh my gosh, THIS MANY WOMEN are going through reproductive issues?" It scared me. It broke my heart. But it also showed me that I'm not alone. About 10% of women (6.1 million) in the United States ages 15-44 have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant and that's only in the U.S!

I signed in, sat down and just started thinking about EVERYTHING. Wow, we're really doing this. How's this whole process going to feel? Will it work? Are these doctor's the best? Ohhhh boy the questions and thoughts didn't STOP! But about 11 tubes of blood drawn later, I had simmered down and actually decided to meet with my IVF Coordinator so that she could answer some of those questions I had flooding my brain! When I left I felt ready to do this. Ready to make moves. Ready to have a baby. I even made my appointment for taking my IVF class where I'll learn how to inject my medications into my body on my own or with the help of my husband.

It's all becoming so real.

The lab is closed in June so we'll begin our cycle around the second week in July. On Day 2 of my cycle I'll go in for hormone blood work and that evening I'll begin my injections. About a week or week and a half later I'll have the retrieval and then after 5 days of fertilization the fertilized egg is then transferred to my uterus. After that it's bed rest for a couple of days and then a waiting period of 2 weeks until we know the results. It seems like it's all going to happen so fast but I can already see how long the days we'll seem when we're waiting to know the results. I guess it's the same thing as conception and waiting for your cycle to come or not. It's all a process. One I am so excited and ready for. Eric feels the way as well. We can't help but think "Holy cow, we're going to be pregnant so soon!"  I know many wouldn't want to think that way due to the fear of failure but we refuse to see failure and we refuse to feel or see that negative side. I mean in reality why do you need to think or be open to the "negative" or to "failure". You're making yourself feel sadness before you even go through process, but why make yourself feel sadness before when if the process doesn't work you'll feel that same sadness then? Positivity and a stress-free environment is a HUGE key to success with IVF. So leave all of those sad, crazy thoughts alone and focus on your goal.

Thursday I begin acupuncture with my aunt who is an acupuncturist. I will be doing acupuncture through out the complete process as it's something my doctor recommended and something I've researched that is very beneficial to woman going through IVF.

I'm feeling really good about everything.

We're getting closer to meeting our miracle and that's a beautiful thing.

P.S: My blood work for my hormones came back looking great. My Estrogen level was a 38 and my FSH was a 7 which my doctor was very happy with. If she's happy, SO ARE WE!

Now we just wait for the genetic screening results to come back, along with all of the other blood tests they ran. 


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Hold Onto Hope Love

 I've connected to this song so much since we found out about my condition. I had heard this song in the past but actually in the same week that I was told the results of my HSG I heard this song again and have held onto it so tightly since. It gives me hope.

 I thought I would share it with you.

Support and Love

 

 The journey of IVF is definitely one that shouldn't be traveled alone.

 

 When I first found out about my condition being ALONE was all I wanted. I just wanted to crawl into a hole some where and stay there. I didn't want people to feel bad for me, I didn't want anyone to know what was wrong with me, I didn't want to have anything to do with anything! It was a really difficult thing to understand and to process for that matter and I just needed time to get through all of it.

 

 As a help to myself and everything that is going on in my life I've begun seeing a therapist. I started about a month and a half ago and I can't stress enough how helpful it has been. You don't have to be nuts to see a therapist! That's probably the most negative connotation "seeing a therapist" has. Talking to someone about what you're going through is extremely helpful. Something I've noticed in therapy is that hearing myself speak about what I'm feeling alone helps me. I hear my thoughts aloud instead of holding them inside where they eat at me and can't get fixed. I've realized that having someone to go too when I'm going through something is such a good feeling. I leave her office feeling renewed, optimistic and like I can accomplish anything I want I just have to continue to work at it. I mean, I'm no expert on therapy but I'm definitely a firm believer of it. 

 

 My point of bringing this up is because anyone that is going through IVF shouldn't do it alone. Although it may be difficult to share what you're going through and difficult to share your misfortune, sharing it with your family and friends will be the best thing for you. Yesterday, for the first time I shared what I am going through with my family and friends through this blog. I sent an email to them to let them know I had begun a blog where I planned to share our journey through IVF with my family, friends and I was making this blog public so that other families that are going through the same thing could find it on the web and turn to it for support as I am. It was far from easy to begin this blog and even more difficult to share it with my family and friends. I've always been a really private person, never liked putting myself out there and being open about my life BUT I've begun to change as I work on myself so that I can get through this journey and have the strength to live through the good and the bad that this journey may bring.  

 

 Talk. Talk to your partner, talk to your family, talk to your friends. The responses I got back from my family and friends gave me so much hope and strength. Hope and strength that's much needed.

 

 I hope me talking to you will help support you in talking to others.

 

 

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Can I talk about it?

 Is it wrong that I want to talk about my baby?

 

 I mean I know that I don't actually have a baby YET but talking about a baby makes me feel hopeful.

 

 I think it bring positivity and clarity on a goal.

 

 I have my hopes and dreams for our baby. I want nothing but the best for it. So is it wrong for me to plan for it? For me to have a "baby fund", for me to look at things I would love to spoil the baby with, for me to think of how I would keep the baby healthy and active?

 

 I see nothing wrong with it.

 

 How do you feel about it?

 

 Do you find yourself doing the same thing and asking the same question?

 

 

 

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I have Faith...

 What is Faith?

 Well, in the dictionary it states that faith is something that is believed especially with strong conviction. A firm belief in something for which there is no proof. Belief and trust in and loyalty to God.

  I was born and raised as a Catholic but as I got older I practiced less and when I left Catholic school I practiced even less. I would still pray at night, attend mass every now and then and celebrated all Catholic holidays and days of observance.

 As I've gotten older my beliefs in everything the Catholic church stands by have changed a bit and I have also turned to Buddhism as there are parts of this religion that bring true peace to my life such as meditation, mantras, etc.

  With all that's going on lately I have feel the need to work on my Faith. To work on my mind and soul. To cleanse it of fear and pain so that I can prepare myself for something that I feel is much greater.

  As I traveled to work this morning a question came to my mind that I couldn't seem to find an answer too. I asked myself "what can I do to bring more faith into my life?" Not a simple question to answer that's for sure and I actually wasn't able to answer it at all. What did come to my mind though was the response "maybe you have to seek that faith out". It was a response that felt right and one that I was quickly drawn too.

 Where do I begin though?

 Well, I plan to start with more mediation focused on faith and releasing my fears. IVF is difficult process that brings a lot of fear and stress so it's important to me that before I begin my first cycle that my mind and soul be in the right place. A peaceful place filled with faith and hope. I also plan to attend church on Sunday. I've always just found peace in just sitting inside of a church even if there was no mass. So this morning I told Eric that I would like to start attending mass on Sunday's. I think this will be beneficial to us both in many ways. It's also another place for us to connect spiritually which I think is so important in a relationship, marriage and a couple going through IVF together. So we'll see how things go. I'm definitely focused on the over all goal that's for sure.

 Do you do anything that helps keep your Faith strong?

 
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Who's Addison and Aiden?

 

 After posting my first post ever on this blog I realized that the question "Who's Addison and Aiden?" might arise.

 

 So here's an explanation about that one.

 

 Addison and Aiden are the two baby names I am absolutely in LOVE with. Addison for a baby girl and Aiden for a baby boy. I've loved those names every since the thought of having a baby entered our brains. It took a bit of convincing with Eric though. He's into the Kailey's and Haley's for a girl and for a boy....well that seems to be a difficult choice that he has plenty of time to figure out.

 

 So there you have it.

 

 Happy thoughts y'all. Happy thoughts. 

 

 

 

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And the journey begins...

 Happy Monday y'all.

 

 Welcome to my new Blog Addison and Aiden. I posted this post on my design blog A {Kiss} of Color today but this post is also the perfect intro to the journey I'm going to travel on my new blog Addison and Aiden so I figured I would re-post it here.

  I'm not one for blogging about my personal life. I'm a very private person with the exception of talking about my marriage, my awesome husband and the beauty of life every now and then on my design blog. BUT life isn't always beautiful and we have to accept that part of life as well because after all THAT IS THE REALITY OF LIFE, so I'm embarking on a new path. Life has brought so many changes, curve balls, etc. lately that I figured why not try writing as a way to release my thoughts instead of holding them all inside. Why not share something that many other people are going through. Why not have a place for good days and bad ones as it's probably a place that more people can relate too then others!

  I mentioned on my design blog a while back that I was making some changes to my business because Eric (my husband) and I wanted to focus on growing our family. This was something we had been trying to do prior to that business decision but I decided that I wanted to have even more time for my family and more time for myself to be completely honest so I made that business decision official. The time was well spent and focused on what I truly wanted but the growing of our family never came.

  I have had Endometriosis ever since I was a child. I don't really need to go into the details of it but it's an extremely painful and incurable disease that affects 5.5 million women in the United States, Canada and many millions more through out the world. I've always been concerned that this disease could affect me having a baby one day but it was always a thought I kept way deep inside and out of sight. Every now and then I would bring the issue up to doctors but they would always dismiss it with the same response "oh you're so young, you don't need to worry about that right now!" So on I went with my life.

  We tried and we tried.

  We went to a Holistic doctor.

  I tried supplements after supplements.

  Diets after diets but still........ nothing.

  Over two years later the response I would continue to get from doctors regarding my condition just wasn't working for me anymore and my Endometriosis continued to worsen. Two Dilation and Curettage procedures later I wanted answers and I wasn't going to stop until I found them. Blood tests, exams, I was at the doctors what seemed like every day. Exhaustion, depression, anxiety, sadness, pain. I felt it all. I wanted nothing more then to know why I wasn't getting pregnant but the process was taking a huge tole on my well being and mental state so I took a break. I needed time to step back, relax and reflect.

  After about a 3 or 4 month's break I continued my search for answers and finally found them. I left the doctor I had been with for years (and got absolutely no where with) and found an awesome OBGYN. She was smart, direct and got straight to the facts and details. Without wasting any time she sent me for an Hysterosalpingogram x-ray that looks inside of your uterus, fallopian tubes and the area around them. I'll never forget this day for the rest of my life. I remember feeling a bit nervous about the fact that I was going to get an answer to a question I lived with for so many years but I never thought in a million years I was going to be told what I was told on that day.

  The doctor instructed me on the procedure he was about to begin. He told me to remain calm, breathe and let him know if I felt any discomfort or pain. He pulled the sonogram machine to my eye view and pointed out my uterus, fallopian tubes and anything surrounding them that we would be taking a look at and then the procedure began. I watched as the dye entered my body. My uterus filled with dye, my .......... ....... . From that moment everything went blank and life pretty much felt like it stopped. The dye never moved from my uterus and my worst fears came true, a disease that I had always feared was now laying on that cold metal table with me. My fallopian tubes were now both blocked from the Endometriosis. The doctor at the x-ray imaging office broke the news to me as if he had just told me what he had just ordered for lunch and I remember my body beginning to tremble and my ears clogging up as if I had just gone deaf. I got up from that table, ran to the bathroom and burst into tears.

  What did he just say to me? How could he break this news to me like this? How could this happen to me? Why? How do horrible things like this happen to good people?

  The thoughts were endless.

  I never got dressed so fast in my life and when I left the exam room I couldn't even walk into the lobby to get my aunt who was waiting for me in the waiting room. I needed air. NOW.

  Calling my husband with that news was the hardest thing I probably ever had to do. So many thoughts were going through my head. He didn't sign up for this! I wish I could have told him this before we got married! He wants children, what am I going to do? I just couldn't help but blame myself in every way, shape and form until I heard his voice. We'll get through this. I love you. We'll do whatever we have to do. This has nothing to do with you. You're all I need. His voice felt like a warm, dry blanket on a cold, wet day.

  It took weeks to get over the news and I honestly wouldn't say we got over the news but rather processed it in whatever way we both needed too. Tears, love, hugs, long talks, no talking at all, long walks, meditation, sleep, drives, a trip. We did whatever we needed to do to get through the news that we wouldn't be able to conceive on our own and that IVF was now our only hope of having a child of our own.

  Will we let this stop our dream of becoming parents? Of course not. What doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger and that's the way we are looking at this. We obviously both never in a million years thought we would ever have to go through this but the reality is... who does?!!! No one wishes this for themselves, no one dreams for this but we're NOT going to let this stop us.

  You know, I read so many blogs, Facebook statuses, see tons of pictures from people that are pregnant, just had a baby, have 2 or 3 kids, etc. and I celebrate their joy with them as I would never think negatively towards anyones joy or the gift that they were given by God but I felt the need to speak about what life has presented in OUR lives. I felt the need to speak about life when it might not be going so well. The not so pretty part of life. The reality. Like I mentioned before I'm an extremely private person and but I felt the need to be open about this and my true feelings because I DO KNOW that many women in the world face this issue with me and finding someone or some where you can relate with or that is open about the "not so pretty things in life" is very hard to find.

  So Addison and Aiden will be a place where I will write about our journey through IVF and everything that leads up to the day Eric and I become parents (God willing). I even plan on posting things about babies, posts on baby goods, the works! Positive thinking is a HUGE part of the IVF journey. It's so important to be stress free and have your mind focused on your true goal so anything that is going to keep me there is what I plan on doing.

  Life brings so much. The good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty BUT through it all we MUST have faith, we must believe, we must stay strong. God never gives us anything we can't handle.

 

 

 

 

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